The words shoot me in the heart. It hurts damn badly. I have a lot of things I want to talk to you... Also to clear things up with you.
The period you are away, I miss you a lot. Not sure if you know it but YES. I MISSED YOU BADLY.
And now you're back. I have no idea how to approach you...
We two are still that distant from each other... Its normally me with a group and him with another group. And somehow the gap will slowly go close and far back again.
A bit upset by that but I have no rights to demand anything since he had already warned me about all these things. I am just someone stupid to willingly jump into a deep well.
我太傻了吗？
Your tarot readings say that the right thing for me to do now is to start from zero again.
Meaning break up and start from being single, have an open eye and look further... This really makes me ponder a lot.
Hence throughout the whole journey I was partially thinking about the tarot readings. My mind just went sian and I felt like a zombie.
I was thinking if everything is already set up without a start but ends with an ending? Yes. Even the tarot cards said so. Believe it or not to? I don't know. That just shook my whole mind. Also tarot asked me to think POSITIVE but I just couldn't fake that. Ken found it out after all.
"Do you know what you did wrong?"
"You know if you have made the right choice or not?"
"Why you decide to just barge in the fence and gate that I set up?"
"Why you choose me over Kenneth?"
"你根我在一起会吃很多亏."
"Should I just let go..."
And much more which I just can't remember.
That chunk of word just hurt me in the heart. Slowly one by one, bit by bit. I just can't not ignore it. I thought of being cool and try to not feel the hurt but no. The hurt just come part by part... Again and again...
Lucky you said you don't wamt to let go yet. I rejoiced a bit. If you said you want to let go, I believe my heart with just break apart.
Asked me why I choose you over Kenneth? I have no idea. Kenneth to me, I just can't imagine it. I have no feel for Kenneth at all. I like you, not Kenneth.
You said he will be the same as him if I talk freely to him. Meaning I am currently not talking freely to him? What this means?? I sense you are trying to tell/hint/get something into me. Right?? I have no idea what you are trying to get across me. My bus came in just 'in time'??
So lets get one day to clear all this out ok?? Have a heart to heart talk and we clear this up...
P.S. Yes, what the tarot says about me is true.