Having some serious discussions about grown up life with my cliques. It sets my mind thinking, "What will I be when I grow up?".
"Will I get married?"
"Will I be successful??"
"Will I die in mid 20-30s??"
"Will I be poor??"
"Will I still be living with my parents??"
etc etc.
All this questions floods into my mind.
Firstly, marriage. I seriously do not want to get married but my friends all claimed that I will sooner or later do that. Maybe the earliest to do so in fact. No this thought is terrifying.
Why I detest marriage? Not because that I don't like guys nor I had a bad childhood trauma. It is just that I do not like commitment. And plus the thought of staying loyal/forever with one guy for the rest of your life?? Just how can you do that?!? Maybe in a relationship till I grow old will be great. Just relationships with no binds. I don't like the idea of being tied up; young by parents, old by husband/child. Just a big nono.
Secondly, will I still be a nobody at work?? Eg when I am 30, will I still be working under some sucky upperman?? Or worst, no jobs at all. I do not want that! I want to be successful! I aimed, at age 30, I want to become at least someone of a higher status. Be it at workplace or socially. I want to be rich. I want to be a career woman, owning a car, owning a dream house. Live alone for sure.
Be not socially awkward. Be a social butterfly. Mingle around and just have fun. No need to care about anyone. How great is it??
Freedom, that's what I really want. I cannot stand the idea of still gaining no freedom even when I am an adult. Be it leaving my sanctuary or whatever, I just want freedom. I would go heartless if I want to. Already had feedbacks that I am coldhearted but well... Doesn't really matters. No point to act like I am so kind hearted when I'm actually no that. Duh.