Mini heart to heart talk yesterday night. It was fun. ^^ That made me reflect on myself, how I really am. I felt that I am a really bad person. Really bad and heartless...
How many times had I just ignore people's feelings?? People can put in their heart for someone they love, they can commit for people they love. People can slowly grow love and people can slowly feel love. :/
And my conclusion was, how I abuse all this and take the confessions as granted as a female. How I just like run away from people when I feel scared. D: To be honest, I ran away from all when I feel that things are too much. Its too scary to continue. Like asking too much and prying too much... I cannot do anything but I just need to stop all things from proceeding. Hence I just disappear a while from their lives.
Little do I know that I was being inconsiderate... But what is the best way to react?? Wait till things to happen?? :| Sorry I really cannot do it. Anything more than friend, I don't know how to do. Hence I just go missing. I am not sure about the feelings if no one told me. I thought that they are being personal. @.@ I dont really like that.
I always hear all about me from people. And I will be like. Omg why do things happen like that?? D: Did I just hurt someone like this?? My conclusion would be always, "Fuck this shit"... So like I heard 4 confessions indirectly and only 3 confessed. Ok...
Why me, just why me?? Can't u all not tell that I dont need someone?? I dont want someone to control me, someone to be beside me all the while. It is scary. For a while, it is fine but not for long please. I cannot stand it. I dont know how to go beyond the friend phrase.
Why do we need love anyway?? /shrugs. This kind of thing just do not make sense in anyway!!
And after yesterday, I think I really damn bad and damn arrogant?? People associated with me just has to suffer... But I have no intention... I want to protect the freedom I want. D: I always thought its nothing wrong.
Yah. Such a long and wtf post about me panicking about my mind-blowned mind. I will sure get whacked...