Seriously, when you get older, you get paranoid about your future. You start to get insecurities when the once busy bee fun filled life dies down to a stayin weekend... I will be wondering "What went wrong?". I will be wondering if I have friends anymore. Well... I guess pretty much if I have no outings or days planned, I deduce I have no friends. Damn. The insecurities of being abandon is real.
I think my cliques all come and go. So sad but that's the truth. Even now, the weekly meetups with new friends. I wonder if they would last? I have a feeling that the last meetup is coming. Well. I am so surprise that I still have new friends outside of work. Woah hoho...
Yes. I want an extravagant life. Yes. I want a life full of events and parties. Yes. I want to have a constant clique. Yes I want to have someone I can confide in, who can understands me, who I can disturb every time I feel like it. At least with that, I do not feel alone at all. Even if it is superficial, I do not mind that much. Damn it. Is this how getting old feels like? Being so sentimental...