Sometimes I wondered if it is normal if I have not envision a future with anyone other than myself.
I looked at a lot of married couples talking about envisioning a life together in the future, I looked at my friends (single or attached) talking about wanting to live their other phase of their life with someone special. They envisioned it at some point of their life right? That image of "the other half"; masked, identity-less, legit human etc, well anyhow there is that image of their "ideal half".
But for me, it is not the case. I had always envisioned my future alone. I really see no future with anyone, in fact the only reason why I want a partner selfish; to break free from my parent's control, to have someone to go do the dangerous adventure with.
I want a tattoo, I want to skydive, surf, kayak, rock climb, roller coaster rides, do all the adrenaline rush activities. I need some push to get there, someone to just follow me around so at least I know my death and last words will be accounted for if anything happens. =w= And also to throw my ashes out to the vast blue sea.
HAHA what a reason.
Friends said I will be the first to get married but that is already wrong; for one of my friend is already married. They say I will be the second but NO, I have a lot more friends attached and planning for their future soon.
So I look at them all the time, for the 1001 time, I won't be the next to get married. Not till I am past 30 if I ever am going to. Meanwhile, I am trying to fill my life with a masked identity beside me but to no avail. I just cannot imagine it.
I could not even imagine another person in my house, I love my solitude during my free time so so much that things like this do not even cross my mind. Dude, I cannot imagine how people can ENVISION a future with someone. This is just too hard for me to understand and I rather spend my time doing my own things.
Anyway, my attention is just this shooooooooooort. Unless someone manage to catch my attention everytime, congratulations to him. You just earned a lifetime job to live with me and get pulled by me. AHAHA. I will be brutally honest here, no one ever did succeed and no one will. They more they try, the more I hate them. Talk about reverse effect, they are doing it right huh. If I ever want you, I would had made the move first. *wink wink*
Okay I've binge watch the whole 10 episodes of W-Two Worlds and I am now thinking of Jong Suk's wink. *MELTS*