What a heart-warming scene i saw today on the way back.
I noticed this lady in front of me, pulling a long face throughout the short LRT ride. She might have a shitty day at work (I totally understand). So she alighted at the same stop as me, so I was behind her while taking the stairs down.
At the exit, there's this dad with a toddler (1 year old probably?). And guess what's next? When the toddler saw the lady, he screamed and smile so loudly "Mama!" and waddle to the lady. The lady, upon seeing her kid, broke into a huge smile. At this instance, you can really see her cheerfulness and probably she feels like the happiest lady in the world. All her shitty day at work is forgotten and all she does was to kiss the toddler a lot and smile and laugh.
Such a sweet sight to see. ♥︎
This got me thinking why I hate going home to my family so much.
1. I don't feel appreciated at all. Everything that I do is taken for granted, it is something that I NEED to do. It is no longer things that I can choose not to do.
For example when I reach home late, I am forced to say where I went to and who I went with. Saying "I went out" is not acceptable. Talking freely at home is also prohibited. We have to say the politically correct phrases to risk getting nagged for being immature and naive. FINE. Even if I asked "Who ate my food" is also prohibited and deemed as FUCKING RUDE, especially in front of strangers, eg, my brother's girlfriend.
2. There is no warmth in the family. Every moment is chaos with loud TV/ iPad /games/ loud sounds including conversations. Every sentence sounds like a fight, even for good news. They are just loud. Only loud and noisy. Even when you say happily "I AM HOME.", nobody looks up at you, nobody replies "Welcome back".
All the do was to reply "Where you went" or worst, greeted with silences other than TV/iPad sounds. Mind you, they are freaking in the living room. Just no one bothers to look at me other than to demand my whereabouts.
In other words, they are controlling.
If they could even smile happily or at least say "Welcome back", I would not had hate my house that much. How do you expect me to force a smile to be greeted with a black face or to be ignored?
I attempted in making my home entrance appearance lively but that doesn't work out. I got ignored.
I attempted in making jokes and be the joker at home but all I got was being criticized as immature, naive, childish or saying politically wrong answers.
If you ignore a kid's attempt to make you happy, would the kid still try? Maybe they will but not on the long run. That applies to adults too. We are all humans who needs to be appreciated in life.
So what for I return to a noisy family who knows and reacts to nothing but to only control and manipulate me?
Gosh typing this makes me what to cry.