OH. So I came to realize;

Wishes don't come true.
Dreams don't come true.
Thoughts don't come true.

To fulfill, one have to go all out and risk it because this is not parallel universe.

Do whatever it takes to achieve your goals, even if the ending is not what you desire. At least you know you tried and you did it and you have nothing to regret about.

So take the plunge and dive out of your comfort zone. What could be the worst?

Just,

Your wishes don't come true.
Your dreams don't realize.
Your thoughts perish.

That's all.

You are still alive,
You will be angry,
You will be sad
However,
Turn these negativities,
to something that will score you a better future.

Wake up.
Wake up.
See that light at the end of the tunnel?

Walk towards it.

Dreams can don't come true.
Wishes can die.
Thoughts can get lost.

You may stop and take a breather,
You may stop to take a nap.
But,
Please keep moving.
March forward,
Run forward,
Stretch forward.

Just so you know,
There is always light at the end of the tunnel,
Silver lining in every cloud.

Soul Mate

I wondered if I will meet my soul mate throughout my life. If I managed to find, it seems pretty cool~ A soul mate not necessary need to be your lover, crush or your other half. The person can be an opposite gender, can be gay, lesbian, black, white, blind, healthy or whatever. They can even be someone who you only met for once in your lifetime!

Wouldn't it be great if you can find someone that cliques well with you?? Someone who knows you well from inside out. Well, more than your parents or spouse or lover.

Truthfully speaking, nobody know me well enough. My mum do not really know me from heart... :/ Even I dont know myself sometimes either.

Im kind of screwed up in my way of thinking and it is not the correct way to flaunt that to everyone wtf. So if someone really knows, if not, they wont know... Sometimes I do not even know if I know how am I feeling. I am really lost and confused and who can I lean on??

No one gives a good reply. Most just give general 'correct' answers that I also am thinking. Parents just assumed that I am unmotivated and cannot make it. In the end, there is really no one to back me up in a good manner. Yes, sometimes they are supportive but during the crucial times, they are not.

Parents just wants me to control me yet wanting me to be independent and be confident. That is contradicting. Please, I know what I am doing and can you all please do this favour to just let me do what I want? I am old enough for god's sake. Sometimes I just get so fed up with all the white lies that I had been telling. I just want to tell them to ignore me, treat me like invisible for a day or two. I WOULD GLADY APPRECIATE THAT PLEASE. Do not question, do not emphasize.

All I want is freedom and well, people who understands and supports. Hard to even confide to people when I am feeling confused. So parts and pieces of me are shown to different people. Where is the real me??! Soul searching but still no idea. I am screwed up, no one will be like me. Really, if someone understands, I will be really grateful and relieved!

Late-night Nonsense Thought

I really pissed people off throughly... That's one thing I need to change. I need to be least annoying and not make people pissed at me. Now when I need a reply, no one freaking replies zzz.

Well, I gotta be more exclusive on my daily life abit. (I kinda shouted all my thoughts out on my one and only facebook and ranting channel aka twitter.)

Need to have more privacy about my life. OK. NEED. MUST BE.

And just try not to make people angry. Sometimes, it's just not that I like to disturb people, it's just I am bored. I want to do something if not I will probably die from bottling up to much boredom inside my heart.

Nowhere to express my feelings, I can really bottled up and just suffocate. /cough

Heh though I admit that I pester people too much. x.x

To the extent that IF I am in their shoes, I would hell not even read/reply. =.=

Discreet. Watch my language and emotions.

And I confirm going to take years or a life-time to drive like a pro.

I really suck at driving. T___T

Reflections

Saw this post of my friend saying that he accomplish some design which definitely make the best portfolio that he currently has right now. Upon seeing that, I feel a bit upset. And find myself quite useless. I have accomplish nothing...

Even wanting to join the converse shoe design is making me in a dilemma. To join or not to join? To join and rush design out and in the end win nothing? To join and rush to register after work? All these excuses are making me doubt myself... My ability to create things and design things...

And my friend accomplished something that I always wanted to had! Makes me wanting to join the shoe design competition and try to win it! He spark the fire in me and I just can't accept the fact that I can't win anything while he can! >:D

Having joined first and regret later is much more of a better option that just to give up without even trying. I think it is great isn't it?? Knowing that you will fail but just heck care and give it a try. :O

Utterly bored

Seriously so bored can? Went to work whole day BUT NOT ASSIGNED ANY TASK. Damn bored can??

And also I think a lot... A lot... Just because I am too bored. x.x And I go dangerous and go delusional. >.> /shots.

I directly shoot a lot of people online! Haha. Being too direct and just shoot them all. *u* I like it somehow. Ohoho /sneaky laugh

Its so cold here. My heart is more iced up ok. x.x So people suffer with me wahahaha.

I don't quite much have a reason to hate this job as I HAZ FREE MONEY but just too sian to face computer whole day doing nothing. :O

So I think of what happen yesterday. Hmm so what is really commitment?? I don't really know how that works. LOL. Die good time. Surely die good time. See!! You all see what I mean??? When I am bored I talk and think rubbish. And ouch got pimple on my head. Shit going die twice. @.@

Lies

What lies in the future?? Seriously no one knows. Not knowing the future somehow makes you appear to be stronger and grow stronger. (Y) peace.

Have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Seriously no expecting too much and in fact its going to be tough for either one of us. Truths are going to hurt you a lot yea. Even I am not sure what will happen to me tomorrow!! Not expecting me to know my future but I would rather not know so I can enjoy at least this bit of happiness I enjoy. /peace

Truth is going to hurt everyone. Anyone who tells you that truths doesn't hurt, LIES. I can say that they are LIES. 

Future

So... Said out. So lets just go along with the flow.

Aches

Wake up in the morning and kicked my leg. I really should not continue that bad habit of mine because my muscle ache came back. And that kick has a HUGE impact on me early in the morning. So I just cramp both my legs on bed. .___. ... Yes and I fall back into a deep slumber for another hour, making a total of 13 hours of sleep!♥

Yes I feel so disabled now. T_T Cannot even move my leg freely. T_T I thought my legs are wonder when it didn't ached when I did all sorts of warmups and sudden runs. So my body lags for 2 days... I see here... Hmm...

So today I spent some time emo-ing about my leg. /sobs... And some other things came back into my mind again. Haiz... ... I need Doreamon's decision making tool!! So that I will know what decision is the correct move. x.x (Yes I am just too too too weak)

Nobody really expect that I am someone who is so unsecured except for a few people. I am someone who like to be strong for everyone so at least the people will have at least me to turn to when they have something sad happening to them. x.x

Also the real me... How am I really? I have no idea. Seriously no. So can I just say I am sometimes a Sadist while sometimes a Machinist?? Liking to hurt people's emotion while at the same time like to keep my mind hurtful because I'm just M in heart. x.x

Seriously this is abnormal. T_T RAWR. D: I can be feeling damn down at times and suddenly damn high the next moment. x.x